Pity Party

By Brenda Sutton © 1994

I coulda been a contender if life hadn't dealt me dirt
I woulda been a giant among men
if my genes hadn't made me a female squirt
I mighta built me a dynasty if taxes weren't so high
I coulda woulda shoulda but I didn't didn't didn't
So no one will care when I die. (Sigh)

Chorus:
Wallow, wallow, wallow,
Wallow, wallow, wallow
Boo hoo hoo pout cry sniff
(sniff)
-Repeat

I woulda made the Olympic Team if I'd only learned how to skate
I shoulda married Sean Connery but I was born two decades too late (and I hate haggis)
If Sally Fields can win an Oscar, I know I coulda done it too
If I hadn't done the things I did with my life,
there's no telling what I could do

(Chorus)

Break:
It's not my fault I turned out like this, you mustn't criticize
But Saturn has been retrograde since my birth and the sun's been in my eyes
Waah, waah, waah, waah!

I woulda made a great dancer but I was born with two left feet
You mustn't mind my bad temper, I'm PMS and I eat too much red meat
In spite of all my short comings, I think I'm doing fine
I've accomplished an awful lot in my life for someone who's out of her mind.

(Chorus)